


Hair

by gilbert_theloli_nightray



Category: Food Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, These two break me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 16:17:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21148598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilbert_theloli_nightray/pseuds/gilbert_theloli_nightray
Summary: Red Wine has a lot of hair.





	Hair

Red Wine had a lot of hair. Steak liked to look at it, touch it, and pull it. He loved Red Wine’s hair. As long as it was on his head. Something Steak didn't know until recently was how much hair Red Wine… shed. That was the only word he could use to describe it. No matter the amount he removed by brushing it or washing it, it would still get everywhere.

“Red, how are you not bald by now? The amount of hair you lose is ridiculous.” Steak removed one that was wrapped around his horn.

“I brush out the extra hair every morning and night. I can’t possibly be losing that much hair between those times.”

“You are. I’m finding it everywhere. I’m like a magician pulling cloths from his sleeve, but it’s hair instead.”

“I believe some is on the pillow, but you’re exaggerating the rest of it.” He pulled the hair out of his brush and threw it away.

Steak ran a hand through Red Wine’s hair and was surprised to see nothing came out. “I’m not sure why you aren’t losing hair right now. I’m sure more will fall out.”

“Finding a few hairs in bed means nothing.”

“I could make a cat out of all the hair you lose in one day. Maybe two. How do you not notice all of this? Surely it gets on your clothes.”

“Rarely. I almost never have to remove hair from any of my clothes.”

“Yeah. Because your hair always lands on me somehow.” He looked over his clothes for hair before getting dressed. “I can’t imagine how bad you would be if you took your hair down.”

He pulled his hair up tightly. “I’m sure it would be the same. Let’s go get some breakfast.”

Steak pulled a hair off his shirt before he could follow out. “I thought only girls were supposed to lose this amount of hair.”

“Again, you are exaggerating. I don’t lose that much hair.”

Steak rolled his eyes. This argument would never go anywhere. Red Wine either didn't notice his hair falling out or refused to acknowledge it. Of course someone obsessed with their hair would be in denial about anything being even slightly wrong with it.

“If you don’t want it in our bed, perhaps you should stop pulling it so hard.”

Steak tried not to look embarrassed. “I don’t care about our bed. I care about it everywhere else.”

They both took some food and sat across from each other. “I’m glad Master Attendant doesn’t let you work in the kitchen.”

“Steak, most of the people working in the kitchen have longer hair than me.”

“Obviously they don’t shed as much as you do.”

“They must not have their hair pulled out almost every night.”

“You lose your hair during the day. It is not my fault it sheds everywhere. And you know I don’t pull hard enough to pull out any of your hair.”

“Just eat your food and stop complaining. I don’t want to listen to your non-existent problem.”

Steak bit down hard on his fork in frustration. He decided to get away from Red Wine after eating to calm himself down.

“Hey, Steak! Now that you’re finally alone, do you want to spar?”

Steak looked back at Hamburger. Fighting would definitely calm him down. “Sure. I’m not going easy on you.”

“I wouldn’t expect that from you.”

During the middle of the fight, Steak suddenly started coughing as if he was choking. He stopped when he felt something in his throat.

Hamburger dropped his skateboard and ran over. “What’s wrong? Did I knock a tooth out?” He looked into Steak’s mouth. He awkwardly reached in and pulled out a purple hair.

Steak stared at it in shock and anger. “How the fuck did that get into my mouth? He’s not even near me?”

Hamburger quickly dropped the hair in disgust. “Maybe it was on your shirt or your sword. It could have fallen off with how much you’re moving.”

“I am going to make him shave his head.” He felt around his mouth to make sure there were no hairs left. “I have to stop for a few minutes. I need to get my breath back.”

Hamburger carefully pulled another hair from Steak’s shoulder before he could see it. “Maybe we should stop for the day. I’m sure you’ll have more frustration to work out tomorrow.”

“I’m going to rip out all his hair.” He pushed himself up and went to find Red Wine. He almost knocked him down when he did.

“Is there a problem?” He turned to look at Steak, effectively smacking his mouth with his ponytail.

Steak slapped it away. “I was just choking on a strand of your hair. I don’t know where the stupid hair even came from. I was sparring with Hamburger and it flew into my mouth.”

“What do you expect me to do about it?”

“Stop screwing with your hair. It falls out faster when you mess with it so much. If you can’t do that, cut the hair off.”

He glared at Steak as if he suggested murder. “You’re crazy if you think I’ll actually cut off my hair.”

“Red, I just choked on your hair. It’s getting ridiculous. I find it everywhere. It’s going to be the death of me one day.”

“Let it happen. I’m not getting rid of my hair.” He moved out of Steak’s grip and walked away.

Out of anger and frustration, Steak made sure to avoid Red Wine until the end of the day. He swore he found twenty more hairs during the rest of the day. When he went in their room, he saw Red Wine holding scissors. “What are you doing?”

“If you want my hair gone so bad, you can cut it for me.” He held out the scissors. “You get to choose the length of it.”

Steak took the scissors from Red Wine. It didn't take two thoughts to decide cutting his hair would be a mistake. “Your hair doesn’t need to be cut. I can live with it.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Steak laced his fingers in Red Wine’s hair. “At least it isn’t like Gingerbread’s.”

**Author's Note:**

> Red Wine has long hair and he puts it in a ponytail. Ponytails cause more hair to fall out. He definitely sheds like a cat.


End file.
